dressed to the underwater nines

I've never been one of those females who goes to the pool in a full face of make up with the perfect beach waves. You know exactly the type I'm talking about.

Nothing at all against you if this has your name written all over it. I'm just not like that. I wouldn't last 2 Tiesto songs at the pool in Vegas. 

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It's a good day if I even shower before spending my day in the sun, let alone put some mascara on to look less dead. 

I never quite understood why girls will spend just as long getting ready to go to the pool as they do going on a date. Was there a secret class in college I was suppose to attend to learn these tricks? Because I obviously didn't go. 

Looking like I did this week in Mexico is the best it's gonna get. Sorry David if you were hoping for more. 

A) Wanting to look like the Wicked Witch of the West as my makeup is sweating off is not the exact look I'm aiming for. 

B) "I'm going in but not getting my hair wet."
Why are you even here? Don't mind me, I'll be going in head first. 

C) Mascara running down my face. No thank you but hey I'll tell you if yours starts running. 

D) I'd rather not look like these monkeys trying to avoid getting wet at all cost.

Did I get my point across? 
think so